Want to impress your friends and make them think you’re a pianist, but lack the necessary skills to do so? Are you lazy and just want to play the piano without that long and annoying ordeal called practicing? We hear you, and are here for you. Behold some fail-proof, simple steps that, should you follow, will fool the world into thinking you’re a classy pianist.
1. Look Sharp!
See what we did there? The ever-wise statement, “dress to impress”, is the motto of true pianists who have worked hard over the centuries to get the word ‘classy’ attached to their stereotype. Therefore, you, fake pianist, must do all that is in your power to keep that image alive!
2. Make fancy gestures before playing a song
Being a pianist is not merely playing songs on a piano. Being a pianist is emulating pianist behaviors and becoming the pianist. To do this, before even playing a single note, let out an exaggerated sigh, perhaps crack your knuckles for added effect, and grandly move your hands in an arc position, ultimately landing peacefully like a feather on the piano. When you do begin to “play”, make sure you caress and love the keys, do not slam them. Once you have the right piano hand-postures and notions down, you’re already 99.54% of the way done in solidifying your pianist image among your peers.
3. Play only the black keys=Asian sounding music!
“What is this witchcraft?” You may be asking. Alas, it is no witchcraft, but rather a nifty little trick I discovered once upon a time when I was supposed to be practicing Bach. Simply invent a cool rhythm, randomly press black keys, and Presto!, beautiful Asian music emerges from your piano. Studies (the internet) claim that this is because the black keys form a pentatonic scale, something upon which most Asian music is based on.
4. Do what this guy does!
We call this guy’s tips an extension of step 3 above.
5. Grab a friend and play together!
One’s a bore, to automatically spice up your display of imaginary piano skills, add a friend. There are a multitude of easy songs for four hands and essentially what this does is simplify the part you’re supposed to play by half! Also, there’s just something about seeing two or more people smushed together on a little piano chair, jamming alongside each other, that looks impressive.
6. Press the sustain pedal… A LOT
You may have noticed pianos have three pedals. These pedals, especially the fellow on the right, are your friends. The pedal on the right is the sustain pedal, and it makes whatever notes you play last longer until they gradually fade out. We know, fancy stuff. By pressing the sustain pedal excessively, the notes you hit won’t end abruptly and your lack of harmonious chords will be less apparent and painful to the ears. Basically, you will sound and look like you know what you are doing, which is exactly what this post is all about.
7. Use OnlinePianist!
Well did you really think there would be a whole list of how to trick your friends into thinking you’re a pianist without including our handy site?? While OnlinePianist is quite a useful tool for real pianists, it can also be utilized well by those who wish to simply pretend they are pianists! (Note: We suggest you start with the beginner-level tutorials) 😉